Same setup here since 2017. Since then, RAM usage decreased by 60%. The admin panel is not something I'd need but it would be a nice-to-have. Started with postgres as I wouldn't go for anything else if I wanna use it for decades. It has 2.5GBs for 10users and I don't mind if it takes 10 or 20, that's something I expected. Never did a cleanup of anything, I just dumped the db and moved to OVH recently onto a new VPS with NVMe SSD, it flies.
The fact that I cannot delete attachments that users delete is certainly my biggest irritation, 50GBs of stuff I am not sure if I can or cannot delete, but considering the size, I am just gonna bite the bullet, couple terabytes should not be a problem in 25 years. But this is def something I would love to see addressed sooner rather than later. It must be a pain even for the matrix.org server team.
After moving to a better server I do not have issues with slow notification unless the phone is sleeping for longer period of time which is an android optimization (I'd assume). It is more reliable than teams at this point. One of my friends had issues but removing 15 old devices fixed the issue.
As for element-x, I did call out "the another rewrite" issue especially with android and I do think it makes things worse. I still do not know how am I supposed to fix calling and video between old and new clients. For now I don't bother with new clients and everyone is using old ones, but it starts to become an issue as classic clients are in maintenance only mode
I ran my own matrix server for a number of years, then learned that any matrix homeserver would happily serve up any media from matrix without authentication. I shut it down the next day because I have no desire to operate a proxy for downloading csam.
A url like https://my.domain.com/_matrix/media/<some.other.domain>/<some-bad-media-id> would happily proxy the bad media through my server.
I think they've fixed this, but it's not worth the risk to me.
Yes they fixed that about a year ago. It was a breaking change and required everyone to update their server software config.
Whatever is going on in Matrix land isn't stable enough for most people to switch. I gave up after they broke their calling system after changing something to this livekit system. It doesn't work, my existing TURN server became useless, and Matrix was left as a very slow chat application.
I'm over it.
I don't plan to give up just yet. Switching is way too difficult and I don't see many platforms having both solid desktop and mobile versions with e2ee.
But if they dare rewriting anything again from scratch I am leaving. They MUST stick with what they have and make it good at this point.
None of my friends ever migrated from Discord to my server for over a year, so not much is lost. I'll join more actively maintained instances to stick around the communities and chats I found for myself.